i signed up for a credit card online, and you know how when you sign up for a credit card or a bank account and you wanna call and access the account you have to give them your mother’s maiden name? well this credit card that i signed up for allows me to pick the question that they ask me and the answer that i give them. so now whenever i call, they have to ask me what am i wearing, and i have to respond, ‘i don’t think that’s appropriate!’

—eugene mirman (via marththebland)

(via booksandquills)

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